The Beginning

This isn't the ideal way to start my first post, but I feel quite desperate after writing 1000 words, and then promptly deleting it by accident. However, a 2nd draft was probably necessary anyway, as you can probably tell that me and the computer are not harmonious in our partnership. Its more like an abusive relationship, where I'm the beaten spouse that keeps coming back for more.

Anyway, enough with the domestic abuse metaphors, this is meant to be a light-hearted blog, and I am determined not to bog it down with details of my mums breast implants, or how I got away with killing that old lady (a spiked bundt cake and rubber soled sneakers - for sneaking)
I realise that 'The Beginning' for the first post on a blog sounds a bit pretentious/biblical, and in any case, this is by no means the beginning. I have pootled along quite happily for 20yrs without feeling any need to document my life.

Recently I was reading an article which claimed that the reason Generation X was so dissatisfied with their lives was the endless memorialization of them by their parents.
Case in point: my nieces, and nephews in Florida, who every year are lovingly documented in a calendar showing them at christmas, skiing in Vermont. Them trick or treating in October. Them on beach pony rides on the beach. This, the writer claims, is dissatisfying because it leads each of us to believe we're important, a belief which is promptly shattered when we reach 18, and noone seems that interested in a scrapbook of our first steps. Call it cognitive dissonance, if you will - a gap between our perceived beliefs (that we are significant people in the world), and known reality (small fish in a huge ocean)

I was thinking about sites like twitter, myspace, facebook - each of them allowing us to create a persona, details of the minutiae of our lives that we think people will be interested enough to read about. For instance, a friend of mine recently updated her facebook status to read 'Nadine is eating a meatball and cheese panini'. Now, I don't mean to be rude (actually, I do), but WHO CARES?! Who on earth is actually interested in reading that?

Which brings me on to my first resolution for my blog - there will be no unnecessary details about the terrifying ordinariness of my day-to-day life. I realise this is probably easier said than done, but by God, I'm gonna try it. I don't know why I'm capitalising God, by the way, because I'm an atheist, but it just feels so right. Next, I will try not to veer off onto a tangent, which neither my readership, nor myself five minutes later, can follow. Again, this might be a hard one to stick to, and I want to delete that bit about God because it doesn't exactly segue, but by deleting it I would be breaking my next rule: not to edit any streams of consciousness that may prove insightful, or provoke discussion. So above, we have a potential argument for the existence of a higher power; not bad for an opener eh?

So to sum up (and for those who will have skipped that last bit out of boredom)

RESOLUTIONS
1) no pointless details about my mundane existence
2) no segue-ing (sp?) off into crazed tangents - no one wants to read that shit
3) no deleting anything that could induce discussion/heated argument
I want to add:
4) become familiar with at least the basics of HTML, but I fear that is a road that will not be travelled.

So, thats my resolutions done, and I urge you to poke me with a sharp stick if I don't keep to them, much like the MTV stick used to prod Audrina from The Hills from a comatose stupor into a semi-interesting being (they lost that stick in series 2, in my opinion) This is off-topic (dammit, thats 2) broken already), but did anyone see that deleted scene from The Hills where Audrina's friend was trying to talk to her about the particle accelerator in Geneva? She explained a basic outline of the project - how they were going to try and create a particle which would, in effect, create matter out of nothing, thus proving the Big Bang Theory. The downside, of course, was that it had the potential (1/million chance, but still) of creating a black hole, which could end Earth as we know it. Audrina's reply? 'Isn't it funny that Lauren's in Italy while this is happening?'

Quite, Audrina, quite.

Anyway, thats the beginning done and dusted. I realise I have not yet outlined the purpose of this blog, nor its intriguing title (anyone guessed it?), but I am amused at how I'm already talking as though someone is actually reading this.

tara for now,

Gxx