As per usual I'm not starting at the beginning. This is Season Five, Episode 1, and a whole lot has changed for our perma-tanned friends.
This is Joey.
This is Arg.
Debbie loves his makeover, though. Lovely Debbie - like an essexy white witch, she is.
We also are privy to the innermost workings of Cara, Billie, and Lucy's minds. Here they are:
hehehehe. He looks like Yoda! Why would you breed a dog to be that twitchy, I don't know. You may as well just shave a guinea pig and be done with it. That dog internalizes all the world's fear and disappointment. I can see it in his eyes. At least Diags can claim he's fitter than one member of the cast.
So Arg has been running, Jess is flirting with Ricky - do we care about that? No, no we don't care about that. And Gemma, who finally got her man as he launched through the club entrance last season wearing a sailor suit (and practically singing In The Navy), is now trying to bed him. continuing on with the maritime theme for these two, we get Charlie drawing her in a sheet, a la Kate Winslet in Titanic. Here she is:
We end with another evening, another party. Cara (or Billies) boyfriend looks like a cute version of Waldo in his little glasses. Cara and Arg are talking about the marathon, Lydia comes over and rejects him with her bum out. Always the way to do it.
Next time on The only Way Is Essex...well, hopefully we get to see Arg's nipples bleed. Marathon time, people!