mothers

AAARGGHH.

I can't even begin to describe how frustrating any kind of interaction with my mother is. Phone call today, the last of maybe seven this morning. I sighed, picked up. Cue several minutes of inconsequential chatter about friends that I don't know/distant relatives. fine, I can cope with that. Several, "how are you?'s that I always find difficult to answer, despite the person asking. If you taught me to answer, "fine, thanks", what do you think my natural fallback is gonna be?

Then a discussion of my friend, who my mother saw in town. How pretty she looked. I agree, yes she is very pretty. Pause. "Oh when the family was round we all looked at pictures of the wedding. It's a shame there weren't any good ones of you." Silence on my end. How am I meant to respond? And I know a therapist or similarly enlightened (and perhaps American) would tell me to express my hurt/anger, but I'm middle-class British ok, we don't verbalize that shit.

I've just gone back up to Uni. As a leaving present, my mum bust into my room proudly waving a young photo of herself. "I look like Matthew (my brother), don't I? It's a shame you take after your dad's side of the family, darling. " A little-too-hard pat on my head, then cue exit.

As I said, AAGGHHH.